emotions.on.paper

The New Honda Stream

2007-11-22T13:04:00.000+08:00

I went for the New Honda Stream 2007 launch yesterday in Saloma...as always...it was pretty boring...went there for the goods only...and wht did i get!!?? A Memory Card Reader that reads like 5 different formats of Cards...coolies...anyways...here are some pics la i took off the media CD...didnt have a cam with me =(...

Jay Chou- ting ma ma de hua

2007-11-22T12:30:00.000+08:00

I Had an accident

2007-11-22T12:27:00.000+08:00

...fucked up motorcycle crashed into my car...

and he put the blame on me

phone call

2007-11-22T12:01:00.000+08:00

...Remember when i said that i will tolerate his calling up and not to bring that matter up anymore??? well i guess that didnt work as well for me as i hoped it would...i guess bottling up everything wasnt really the best thing to do...cos yesterday...my bottle just pop'd open...=( sigh..
For one...she knows im uncomfortable with him calling and she talking to him infront of me...its not that im agaisnt him calling for now...its just that dont do it in front of me la...well...last night...i had the whole 30mins of it...and we were going for a drink...and the call came even b4 we got there...mind you this was like at 12:25am..and i sat there in Wong Kok CCT not being bothered till the others came...which was like half an hour...=( Honestly to tell you the truth....just as i thought my day was going for the better....he always calls and my mood goes 9 feet under...

!I HATE IT WHEN HE CALLS!

ME

2007-11-21T11:00:00.000+08:00

You are the quintessential dreamer - spending more time thinking about the possibilities that the world holds for you, rather than your reality. You don't settle for anything less than what you truly desire and you work very hard. You tend to live in every place except the present - you are prone to daydreaming about the future and re-thinking the choices you made in the past. Sometimes you get overly caught up in your thoughts.

You are interested in anything that is exciting and pleasurable. You're not afraid to indulge yourself - you live by your own set of rules and don't allow yourself to get hung on what others think. For the most part, you are independent and do whatever you please to do. Trying to stop you from doing something only makes you want it even more. At the end of the day - you live for life's most thrilling moments.

It's a good thing that you are filled with energy and ambitions (that others sometimes find exhausting) because you're continually looking for a new adventure and exciting experience. You struggle with a continual feeling of restlessness which constantly pushes you to the next level of excitement. Once you have accomplished one thing, you are eager to accomplish something more exciting, riskier and distinguishable.

You are a cuddle bug - from a warm hug shared with your best friend to steamy sex with your partner, you enjoy every bit of human contact that you can get. You demonstrate your love for others most fluidly through physical one-on-one contact and you feel the most loved when you are being touched. You feel disconnected when you are physically isolated from others. You're a people person and a lover of all things human.

My description following picking some pictures...think its true??? i think theres a lil truth in it...=) actually...alot...lol....

The SymBol of US

2007-11-15T16:30:00.000+08:00

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

RINGS BRING PPL TOGETHER

BUT THEY ALSO TEAR THEM APART

The New C-Class

2007-11-13T14:29:00.000+08:00

As you all know, i'm currently working for get@Car therefor i get to go for events...yay!! lol...another reason to lean back and stay off work..=) yupp...anyways..2 weeks back i went for the soft launch for the new C-class...well...it didnt really look like a soft launch...it looked like it had the whole package done..the concept i must say was pretty damn well made out...fashion in one corner...101 degrees *if you guys dont know wht that is..its like a bar* at the other, then you have jewelery, ipods...and a whole lot more...all this for Daimler Chrysler Malaysia...pretty big it was held in like a factory near the Subang Airport. Events such as your normal test drives as well as a track drive...where they were practically trashing the car...sudden breaks and all that...anyways....here are some pictures...

The C-Class has come a long long way ey

Well...firstly, to tell you honestly...i dont know much bout mercs..but ever since shandy came into the pic...i slowly picking it up...shes in love with mercs...=) and im beginning to do to...

shortie

2007-11-13T10:35:00.000+08:00

okaY...so shes not going...lol....like i said...i only give myself heartache..=S
dont know bout later la...but for now..im happy..=)

sickness sial =S

2007-11-06T12:36:00.000+08:00

SIGHHhh...everyones getting sick...and i think its all becos of me..=S i was sick first...then one by one everyones getting sick in the office...and now Boo has fallen tremendously sick...im really worried for her...last night...she cough non stop...until we finally had to turn off the fan, turn off the aircorn...opened up the doors and windows....but still she was really sick....wht more she has to go for some training today...and its compulsary...and this morning she cough'd up blood...i was shocked wei...i told her go see doc straight away...but she said tat it happened b4 and there was nothing to worry about...im not so sure bout that la...sigh....hope she gets well soon and stop thinking about going clubbing this weekend and all...its like shes sacrificing her health for partying...which i think is wrong la...but she doesnt listen to me....=(

k..guess its final then....shes going over to his place to stay...but i made myself very clear la....told her that i cant promise you anything now....that it would have to wait after its over and it also depends on wht would happen in that time frame...so...thats that la....=S im being selfish becos im suppose to share the person i love with her ex...=S .. lol...i find that somewht ammusing...

....OFF TO LUNCH THEN APPOINTMENTS....

slept and waking up uneasy

2007-11-05T13:03:00.000+08:00

Yupp...exactly as wht the title sez...i guess everything was fine till she said...she would like to stay at her ex's house for a week reason being her car needs to be fixed and he has a spare car for her to use plus the petrol would be paid...the question is..."what would happen IF she goes over on my side" .. sigh..like i told her countless of times, i am in no position to say anything nor do i have to power to influence her...well...she guarantees that nothing funny would happen...sigh...i dunno...i guess that alone is not enough to let her go with a easy heart...but the decision is hers alone...and IF she does go over...i'm guessing this week is gonna past me by rather slowly...=( and after this week....i have no idea wht would happen....how i would feel towards everything and all....its gonna be awkard...and i dont know whether i will be able to like look her in the eye and act as nothing happen...even worst...i dont know whether i would even speak to her..=S but i doubt that is the case la...i hope its not...and according to boo...there are alot of things i dont like her doing thus she doesnt do it...and i think it has been irritating her ever since... maybe im being too selfsh with her...but its not like i dont let her go out..i do...of course my feelings are invovled but i kinda try and push them aside...and according to her...this is one of those times...lol...to stay at her exbfs house for a week...and im not not suppose to like it...in other words...i shouldnt feel anything...i shouldnt be angry or upset...which i think you all know that that is very hard for me to do...=S .. oh well...see how things go la...im just saying wht i feel...nothing is certain yet...and after all that blabbering i dont know whether she is gonna go or not....so its kinda like a waste of breath..=P lol...

Boo asks me why i blog....why do i tell everyone how i feel...my answer to her...i guess its a space for me to write down everything i feel....when theres no one to talk to...or when theres something bothering me...Ppl say you feel better once you let everything out....yeh...i reckon they have a point...but you still feel uncomfortable...just that it eases the situation....so thats that la...oh well....woke up today missed a meeting cos No1. my phone was barred thanks to the damn company...oh yes...my check still hasnt cleared yet meaning i do not have money for anything....picked perry up and sped to shah alam at 160kmh and when we got to subang....idiot cops having road block for motorcycles and trucks and lorries and such...bloody hell...had to postpone the meeting....Lexus sounded pissed...=S but nothing we could do le...

Hope that becoz my week started lousy...the rest of the week would improve...crossing my fingers really tightly....sigh....last night...i prayed to god so very very hard that things would work out between shan and i....maybe it takes time....or maybe i should accept the fact that god doesnt answer all prayers...which is sad but true...

Dolps need YOUR help!

2007-11-02T15:21:00.000+08:00

Think B4 watching this vid....for those who love animals alot...be prepared for wht youre about to see is very disturbing...

TV star Hayden Panettiere has been involved in a violent confrontation with Japanese fishermen as she tried to disrupt their annual dolphin slaughter.

Click HereIf you wanna know more bout how you can help

the other side to enjoyment

2007-11-02T14:35:00.000+08:00

Last night was a bore at maison...i think we stayed only like for an hour....it was a last min thingy after fions bday dinner somewhere on hill in Ampang....the place: Upview point...or something like that la...cant really remember the name of the place...anyways...reached home at bout 130-2am....cooked soup for shandy to drink and called it a night...=( BoriNg SiaL...!!!

Poppy i cant remember when..

2007-11-01T17:00:00.000+08:00

Zouk 31 October 2007

2007-11-01T14:37:00.001+08:00

oPPss

2007-11-01T12:17:00.003+08:00

lol...i think i may have gone a lil out of line...i love shandy and im sure nothings happening between her ex and her.....guess im being a lil too paranoid...=S yupp...keep telling myself that and i'll be a okay....=) but i guess i'll never know ey unless she tells me..

blogging on a hang over

2007-11-01T10:59:00.000+08:00

mMMm...my heads spinning, my body aches like hell, my eyes are heavy, my hair messy, my hearts gonna blow, and im at work at 10 in the morning...=(

I dont think yesterday was a good day for me at all...it all started off when i called shan and she was at Kok Wahs house sleeping....kay....i know i said i didnt wanna care but i mean...how much can you not care?? its like...i'm fine with her going out for dinner with him and all...or going for a drink....but sleeping over taking a nap??? that i'm not too sure ... so i give her the benifit of the doubt that nothing happened...i hope nothing did...but IF something did happen...i dont think she would tell me anyways...and i would be kept wondering feeling so damn insecure and all...and she tells me "Why must i tell you these things....we are not committed also" .. yeh i guess wht she sez is true la...but at least calm my heart a bit by telling me....whether or not things did happen...but the last time she said nothing happened la...but i dunno la...my heads pretty messed up...im scared to trust her for now...most probably cos of my insecurity...im trying very hard not to care so much...but it bounces back on me everytime...haiHHHh....wht am i to do???

Was getting ready to head to Zouk for GhoStbUstin' when she told me he will be there as well...right on my mood suddenly changed and i didnt feel like going anymore...you know when youre so hyped up bout something then you hear something like this...its like....fuckin potong stim...lol....anyways...its okay if he goes...i dont mind also...its that based on pass situations when he was there as well....i will be left standing at one corner like an idiot...and true enough....last night i was left standing....at least this time i had derek, carol, bryan, and wei wei to be with me...but then again...doesnt really make much of a diff....reason being he was at the table and i couldnt go over...so wht do i do...i stand waiting for bout 1 1/2 hours...and boo will be there with him...sounds fishy??? i really dont know...i dont wanna know...its like im contradicting myself...i wanna know whether anything happened between them...but then again i rather not know...i dont know la..lol...so fuck that i went outside to get myself a hotdog..=) *was hungry* and guess who i saw outside....the both of them...yeap...but they didnt see me la...so i just sat at the hotdog place there...part of me curious wanting to know wht they were up to....the other part of me trying not to bother....but i guess the curiousity got the best of me...and i asked carol to just take a peep...cos i mean...if they ARE like doing something....i rather get my balls all together and ask her to stop everything la....i rather not have her at all then to know that shes with another...but like i said la...she says nothing happened...so....i'll just go with that for now....haha...there was once i actually mastered this covert opperation in my head where i would follow them from behind and all....lol....so that IF something was going on i would catch her red handed...lol...but it was becoz i was frustrated la i thought of that..lol....lame..yes....stupid...yes....go through all that to see wht i'm doing is 100% worth it....HELL YEhhhHH!! lol...kk...i think ive gone astray for awhile there...let my emotions get the best of me....ya okay..so....he left after a while...a very long while...then we headed to the table relunctantly...well i did la...but not b4 i and derek poped a shot of Sambuca...and the rest of the night was flying high...me trying to get the few hours b4 out of my head...round 2 30 i went out....and sobered up in terrace...and after a while boo came too...cos i had no idea where she went....bathroom aparently...then tammy had this problem so boo, cher and tammy went back in to drink somemore....i was still outside with derek,carol,weiwei, ten fennie and her friends came....lol.....u know how when somethings bothering me i just HAVE to talk to my friends about it....becos right now i feel like ive come to a dead end...so i was telling wei wei how i felt...thought she had some words of wisdom for me..."find a new girl la then" sounds soooooo good IF i wasnt like madly inlove with shandy....lol....i cant bring myself to la..after all the comotion...we left to the car....i was tipsy drunk....and wht do i see next....this bugger...i have no idea who the fuck he is....took her and walked like way infront....wah...tu kau lan...i shouted..."you see" to carol...lol..haha..i dont know why i did that also....anyways....boo looked back i saw her and she like didnt bother....and this guy had his arm like around her neck....fuck that la right...k....we crossed the street and his arm was still there so i shouted again la.."dont fucking touch her wei"..lol...again i dunno why i said that....i just walked straight to the car....by myself....why??? cos boo was too bz doing dunno wht...i just dont get it le....she tells me she loves me...but when a situation arises where she knows i will be bothered by it....i really dont see an inch of it...im not expecting her to show a whole lot....just that dont fuck up my heart so many times in a night...sigh....do i regret meeting her? No...i dont...are my feelings under threat?? daym right it is....

-my night in 5 mins-

CONGRATS CRYSTAL CHEN PEI YI ..i just found out you got married and have a wonderfull baby boy.....lol......its strange ey....u dont hear from a friend for so long and when you do she has a child..=S lol ... anyways..shes happy and we are all happy for you....cheers....

After a while...

2007-10-30T13:36:00.000+08:00

Last post was like 2-3 weeks i think...=S thats long...most prob cos im just too damn lazy to get my fingers typing and all...well...alot of things happened in the past weeks..let me see if i can recall them...starting from today..just...

Workmates, colleagues...theres this one particular colleague of mine who is a PAIN IN THE ASS!! this person deliberately put word in my mouth making me look bad and all infront of the boss...when SHE yes..its a SHE...and SHE is a BITCH...made the mistake and not me...and she calls my clients?? why!? for fucks sake women...leave them alone....i know how to handle my own clients...and further more SHE asks me to drive her to the bloody train station everyfucking day....when no one else wants to...and me being a nice person...i do...and wht does she do...backstabbing piece of cunt.....this women is not brushing my bosses shoes, nor is she cleaning his tie, SHE IS SUCKING HIS FUCKING COCK!!! ... woa...i tell you...and wait...she just came in and made plans for me...great..!! i have to go to damansara later to pick up a check...and shes following...why??? her excuse "its a big amount" .. in other words..."send me back"..useless rich sorry excuse for a women...lol...k k ... enough hostality...

Good or BAd News..Shandy and Becky actually had an actual conversation that night in Poppy...=S that was one awkard night for me...plus becks was pretty damn high...and her friends i dont know...didnt seem to care about her...so shandy and i had to do the honours....never once thought that that would happen...it was strange....and derek was like...wtf dude...whts going on....and im like...errr...beats the shit out of me....so i guess thier friends now..=S i guess....been partying with wei wei and gang pretty often now adays....=) never once a dull time in poppy..friday and saturday...its crazee...unexpected friends...cos if you guys know...there was like a big rift between me and them...especially wei wei...and now...we're like hang partners..lol..

Boo often asks me..."wht would happen if i left" ... im actually still pondering on that question.... would happen if she left me...well for one....you know i'll be farking emo....and that would effect my work as well....and i would be crying myself to sleep and not eating...and i'll be quiet and talk a whole lot bout love and things like that...my life would still go on...and i'll be doing everything byself....sleeping alone, cooking alone, driving alone, laughing alone,.. sounds like a pretty depressing lifestyle...=S its either that or i get myself together and just shine the pain away...keeping it in me...putting on a face that would make others happy...live a lie that would not make my friends worry too much....so....wht would happen if she leaves...????

Still sick till thursday...its a all in one sickness...flu, sorethroat, fever....your most common diseases....when combined makes you feel so out of energy...so...dont wanna do anything....but yet...i had to stay up on friday night (nop didnt sleep) and on sat morning, we (boo, cher, me, kenji) drove to BAHAU for boo's aunts funeral. *if you guys dont know where BAHAU is....its after seremban after senawang...bout 2 hours drive from kl...into the kampung...up the hill down the hillpass kuala pilah...and wa lah!!! BAHAU...the place where FISH LEONG came from so i heard...the place where all the rich ppl are....funny though that i have never heard of it till boo told me a few months back...and yes...i laughed when i heard she was from Bahau...i'm like...where the hell is that..=) now i know la...* its pretty sad though...funerals...and this one in particular...it was kinda suicidal..=( but shes in a better place now...shes happy to leave this world and be with GOD...she was suffering whiles she was alive...and according to shans brother Desmond...^note that he has this gift/curse whtever you wanna it he can see spirits and forsight..^ shes happy to leave...so....may God Bless her Soul...i pray for you aunty eventhough i dont know you that well and you thought i was shandys exbf the last time we met...=) we shouldnt mourn for her but celebrate her life....the good times and joy...i think that should be the way....rather than dwelling in sadness....when i take the leap....pls pls pls dont mourn...i'll be angry and start haunting everyone..!! =P open a bottle of chanpaigne and toast to my life be it worthless or acheiving...dont shed a tear but fill the atmosphere with laughs and smiles....i'll smile together with you....and if you see me one day...dont be affraid...just know that i'm always by your side looking out for you....

k la..im getting emo...=S better get back to work b4 my mood changes....

office make over...

2007-10-12T16:31:00.000+08:00

We re-arranged our office today...looks awesome..!! .. well..i think my office looks awesome...haha...its me, shah, mira, and ishaq in one room...and we didnt even bother turning on the main lights...cos like each of our tables have our own table lamps...=) and the place looks great..the ambiance is like so comforting...i think you could say its like an almost perfect environment to work in...plus i guess you would feel sleepy once in a while...but alls good...=) will take pics....

last night was in maison...dragged Arthur out too even though he didnt want to...then it was me, boo, cher, brian, ah boy, and some of his friends...had a good time too...BUT...was outside and saw becky...smiled and waved but all i got in return was a "omg..its chris" and she walked off...im like thinking...wtf...so much for friendship...if you wanna be a bitch...go ahead...i dont give 2 fucks...=) other than that....had alot of fun with shandy...=)

Looks like i need to get one of those Lan Port Wireless thingys...cos the lan cable is too far to plug into my lappie...and i dont know why but my wireless issnt working...=( Estimated Cost -RM30....but gotta find out wht the hell that is first...cos i havent heard of anything like that b4...

life and things like that

2007-10-10T14:29:00.000+08:00

LIFE

What the hell is this big issue everyones talking about...wht is life..wht does it mean to you...if you look back at your OWN life...and currently where you are today...are you really living life? or is it an old face you call routine? Wht is the purpose of living? i mean like...wht is the purpose of me being here...feeling all these emotions...battling all these problems...feeling fucked...feeling happy...feeling loved...only to know that it might be taken away from me...

The Norms of LIFE - you get educated, find a job, start working, save money, start a family, grow old then all that remains of you in this world are ashes and bones.. a rotting corpse.. but wht is it with working? is working your life? making money...is that your life? is that mine? well currently it seems to be...its all that matters right now...to make money...not for me..(cos you know me...if i were to have money...i would use it for my own entertainment and saving of course) but its for the hope...the hope that someday shandy would feel secure enough...so that she doesnt have to worry anymore...but its not living is it...im guessing if i do this now..i would start living when she finally decides and sorts out her issues...Boo has alot on her mind right now...and i might not understand wht shes going through...so all i can do to help her is to relief part of her probs...-me-...FROM THIS DAY ONWARDS...im not gonna give her shit bout kok wah anymore...whtever im feeling...no more confrontations...im gonna keep it to myself...carry it around...look strong...eventhough i would know my heart will be slowly breaking into pieces...but better me hurt than her...and im gonna stand by this...i know in the past, im not really good at standing to me choices or decisions...fickle minded you might put it...but for this..i have made up my mind...coz the way i see it...i still have a shot...whether it be a slim chance...id take that risk...i feel that its worth the wait and its worth the pain...IF it happens...and if it doesnt...then at least i tried...rather than quitting now and not knowing wht would happen...

Last week nothing much happened also...was in pyramid sat and sun 12-7...waiting for boo...=)
wanted to go ice-skating but it was too late...we didnt think it was worth it to just skate for bout 45mins...ended up going to Halo Cafe in pyramid....the food sucked soooo bad....should have went to ole ole bali ey boo...would have been so much better...

Addictive

2007-10-03T14:59:00.000+08:00

..Hooked on an old game..=P

shouts out

2007-10-03T14:40:00.000+08:00

.........

WHY DO I FEEL LIKE THIS?!?!
..........

IM SUPPOSE TO BE HAPPY!!
........

HandlinG

2007-10-03T12:42:00.000+08:00

Last night we went to Black Hole hartamas for Drinks...
Danny, cheryl, mel, tammy, boo, me, sampson, jeslyn, and a few more ppl i do not know..=P

but b4 that...boo made me dinner...=) fried rice...lol...it was GOooOD...

anyways...got to hartamas...whiles walking there...saw sampsons car...automatically i thought to myself..."dont tell me her exbf is there" (Sampson*herbro* and her ex very the good friends)..
so yeh...felt alil uncomfortable...so she walked ahead to check whether he was there..
it was like...so wht if hes there...if he was then wht was i going to do? leave? most probably i would do that le...its the same everytime i go to her house...i dont know why but i feel really uncomfortable like any minute when her bro comes home...he would be there too...so everytime the door opens my heart would beat faster...=S...but i guess if that does happen...i would just walk out and leave as well...and i swear to god if he makes the first move to touch me...i'll beat him straight...without a doubt *yes...he wants to kill me..* if not...i'll just walk away le....

Had a talk with danny as well...cos i wasnt at the table most of the time....went there....got like cast aside...kept thinking to myself...its just like becky when i was with her...when shes with her friends i would be just pushed aside...so..that kinda sucks...and im affraid its happening again...so..abit of a fear there...so grabbed my beer and headed to the back to sit by myself...then talked to danny la after a while...cos i really want to know how he does it...like handle this kinda situation i am in...yupp...he was in a similar situation...but different also la...so yeh...i guess the things he asked me to try and do i totally cant do...cos i just cant...its not me...i cant bring myself to do it....anyways...i got myself tipsy to just forget bout everything...went back there and everything was fine....trying to handle things....so forced myself to not give 2 fucks...

But sometimes i just feel like if hes there then i kenot go...that kinda thing...

Office today is like emo..haha..i got like a emo light infront of me and all the other lights turned off...i think its a very nice atmosphere...=) plus mira's soundtracks are songs that deal with breakups and love and all thoese lil things that are connected to a fucked up life...lol...you do get your occasional *harder better faster stronger* but the rest are like brit emo rock...it gets to you after a while....to tell you the truth...im kinda sick of it...*sry mira but i am...=P*

shortie

2007-10-02T16:58:00.000+08:00

Well..its been a good start to the day so far....

but the days really boring..=S

....my minds brain dead...

the song thats been stuck in my head...thx to Miranda..

2007-10-01T14:36:00.000+08:00

The Perishers - Pills

I hope my smile
can distract you
I hope my fists
can fight for two
So it never has to show
And you’ll never know

I hope my love
can blind you
I hope my arms
can bind you
So you’ll never have to see
What we’ve grown to be

One may think
we’re alright
But we need pills
to sleep at night
We need lies
to make it through the day
We’re not ok

One may think
we’re doing fine
But if I had to lay it on the line
We’re losing ground
with every passing day
We’re not ok

But that’s one thing
I would never
One thing I would never
That’s one thing
I would never say to you

goodbye weekend...hello 5 day week...=(

2007-10-01T12:10:00.000+08:00

mondays coming the day i hate.... - Avril Lavigne

Damn right mondays here...and how does it start...with me sleeping...and the song..raindrops keep falling on my head starts playing over and over and over again in my head...the day looks so damn gloomy...but wht to do..but to get your ass up (even though youre so reluctant to) get dressed...speed of to work cos you find out that youre like 30 mins late...=S

i guess last weekend would cover for the weekend...had loads of fun...i think last week alone...we went clubbing like 3 nights in a row...wed.-mambo thurs-maison fri-poppy and on sat...we wanted to head off to velvet...but our bodies just didnt allow us to...but we stayed up till like 4 playing rami and mahjong...so much for getting a good nights rest..=S day after boo needed to get to work...so i had to get up early too...again reluctantly...but for her..id do almost anything...=) just cant put aside the fact that last week was so clubbing gila...plus i went to all these clubs like at 2am...cos after work....and becos of that...i just burnt RM240...knowing that my life is gonna be like that from now on...i really dont know how im gonna manage...hopefully everything goes well la..but do come and teman me if you guys have the time..!! will let you know where i'll be..=) got like almost wasted those few nights...came back with a headache...spinning around...then somemore had to get up fr work the next day...sigh...the things i do to fulfill boo boo's security...=)

Met up with Kenneth Klarssen after 1 year plus last weekend too....both sat n sun....good to see an old friend again...

and of course there was some emo moments too...lol...its like...if i dont dwell in emotional heartache...im not living my life...its weird i know...happened yesterday...boo wasnt feeling well...so she got off work early....then we went back home to take a nap....(note that i was freaking tired and sleepy too the whole day) yeh so b4 i slept..i took her phone...to read previous msgs that i sent and she sent...*yesssss...i do that sometimes...it makes me happy...* so i stumbled upon some msgs from and to her exbf.....okay...i need some feedback here....is it something to be sensitive about when she still calls him "baby" the name she used to call him when they were together....i dont know about most ppl...but it really disturbed me...as in...made me really uncomfortable and like you know when your heart drops...yeh...like i said b4...they still keep in contact and shes still considering....so....i know i shouldnt make it an issue cos im like nobody to make a fuss...i mean the way the msgs sounded was like...very together-ish...sigh i dunno how to explain it...i only feel...so yeh...i didnt sleep...instead i got changed went out and parked my car at our usual emo spot...was there for bout 2 hours....the Perishers kept me company...had the album replayed for bout 3-4 times...was thinking about alot of things...things i would like to disclose...got back feeling abit better...needed some solitude to calm myself...i mean in the end...i cant say anything anyways...just dont know how long i can keep this up...

Away from that...last weekend was great...

oh...spent the whole of saturday with mel and her daughter claris, tammy and her son Jayden...in pyramid whiles waiting for shan...god...times like that you really feel like having a child of your own....and as shan said....i look sweet helping the both of them...like their father/husband....=) still waiting for that day when i have my own family...=) i think it would be something...

For got to take pics...=S will be camera ready next time....

----> Last night....

2007-09-28T14:44:00.000+08:00

-came into the office today..sleepy and tired...cos had a late night last night...and the yelling in the office didnt help either...this person yelling at that person...flyguy and i were like..wtfs going...(flyguys my colleague who looks like flyguy; his real name is adwan or something....graphic designer)...so i guess the day didnt start as expected...

Apart from that...last night was fun...like i mentioned...started the supervisor job...was put in BED ...went there early..looking sharp...then started working...the club was pretty dead...being a thursday night and most of the ppl are at Maisons...the crowd in BED were mostly ang mou langs...and all i did was prepare a tray of Tequila Shots and i sat there...bored to death...breaking my neck to the music of the DJ's hip hop beats. But then i got a text from Boo..!! she was coming over to accompany me..=) i thought that was pretty sweet of her....then i found out she had no keys to the house..=S but either way..i was happy that she was coming...she came and we chilled there for bout 3 hours....and who says you can only have fun in a group...we were like the only 2 dancing in the club...apart from the 3 girls who were massively shaking their body causing an earthquake...=P the job was pretty laid back...very laid back actually...all i did was club...not many customers...and bed was DEAD...but the layout of the club was nice...especially liked the DJ Console...will take pics tonight...yESs....i'll be there again tonight...as well as tomorrow...but i guess i would be alone...dont think boo wants to follow....anyways...stayed till 2am...then we left that godforsaken place to maison...where arthur was desperately waiting fr us...boo was tipsy...oh...she was tipsy..=) had fun there too...

NOTE: Maison is packed with young kids...i mean...im not old...but the crowd there is like wht...17-18??? music's getting old...thanks to goldfish...his mixes are like the same every week...and you get these "ah-bengs" who shuffle to R&B...like...wtf...

As i mentioned...she was tipsy...*SOOoo sOOOoo* lol....nuff said right boo???

-Well..i thought it was a nice way to end the night...even though i felt shit in the evening...its like when im with her...nothing else really matters....fuck...

im.so.deeply.madly.in.love.with.her

if theres any possibility that i would be able to spend my life with her...i would take that risk....and i am taking it...bring on the heartache...bring on the jealousy....fuck everything else...
its on...=)

Saosin-You're Not Alone

2007-09-28T14:07:00.000+08:00

...She sings this to me...

Burst

2007-09-28T12:05:00.000+08:00

Sorry bout my first post...sometimes i let my emotions get the best of me...actually...most of the time its like that...its not that i dont mean anything i say..its that the frustration sometimes gets to me...and i pour out everything...just wanna justify that....its not all sad when im with her...ironically...im the happiest...write more later...when boss goes out for prayers...=P cheers

add:Note

2007-09-27T17:21:00.000+08:00

But pls ppl...dont think that im not happy with her....i am...really really happy...and i might be too young to know right now...but u know...she could just be that one person who i spend my life with..the connection we have speaks for itself...i love her...with everything ive got...

Just words...

2007-09-27T14:21:00.000+08:00

well..im starting to blog again...most prob cos im bored most of the time in the office...so i would think this is one way to fill my time up...dont you think?? anyways...have come a long way since i fucked up in aussie...i got a job...paying pretty decently...im working in a publishing house...for about say 4 months now?? .. we are currently holding 3 mags.. Get@Car-Envy-Sphere. Car mag, Fashion mag and a travel/lifestyle mag respectively...its all good...thats my life...currently...right now...wake up late...go to work...come back early...hang around for abit...dinner...then comes the pondering of wht to do at night with shandy..its like...youve done most of the things and to think of wht to do at night is such a headache...yea of course theres always the mamak...but..i mean..every night?? it strains you after a while...u wanna do something diff...and the diff things usually cost alot more money...but now..i got this job...where i supervise shooter girls 4 nights a week...so at least those 4 nights are covered....3 to go....and you know when you come back from work..you feel drained, and you just wanna stay at home at night....but when you think of shandy....u wanna bring her out...cos she likes to go out...u dont want to put her at home...restrict her from going out and stuff...so...the headache comes again..=S...YuPp...shandy stays with me... but lets just say things are not going how i would want them to...and theres always the case of the EX....yupp...the ex...who is still lingering around...who still wants her back...and the thing is...we are not even together..."officially" so technically we're both single people...but attached in a way...its complicating...yes i know...its been like this ever since i knew her...well..there was this ONE time where we were together...but i kinda fucked up and she wanted to reconsider...so...lol...i dont know where that goes...

And yuPp..you guessed it...he is being considered as well...but for now as she says...she needs time and doesnt want to be committed to anyone at the moment...and it would take some time...so im suppose to be patient...listening to them talk on the phone which would usually make me emo...im a jealous man..so wht...yeh..so thats that...wht would happen next i do not know...he gives her a sense of security...financially being from a rich family and all and i do not have a doubt in my heart that she still has feelings for him...and as for me...love alone cannot pave our way to happiness...and the world revolves around money....which i think is true...but i cant do anything about that but work hard as i can...let alone now im working 2 jobs....i just dont know how much more i can take...its like...i'm happy with her one minute and the next moody as hell...sigh...life really throws you a screw ball sometimes...

I guess all i have to do now is wait...and wait..and wait...and keep the pain in me...till im suicidal or something...and just kill myself in the process...sometimes i feel like i just want to get sOooOOo damn hurt....that i will never be able to give my heart to anyone anymore...to protect myself...but its all part and parcel of life ey...wonder wht its like to have no feelings...to meet a girl...just to be with her...no feelings involved....lol...but you all know i cant do that...im love fooled...so...thats just trash i guess....and mira's music is not helping either..=S .its playing "on a rope on a rope got me hanging on a rope" - presidents of the united states of america. How coincidentally weird..

On another note: Its funny how just one line can totally spoil your mood....."i'm going for dinner and a movie later...with him" and my day is ending so sweetly....